Thursday, September 30, 2021

Death Battle Prediction: Pepsiman vs Shinichi Izumi

Pepsiman, the thirst-quenching metallic mascot of Pepsi Company.

Shinichi Izumi, the parasitic wielder of Migi from Parasyte.

The fear of the unknown is a horrifying fear indeed. What lies beyond the veil of what humanity has currently grasped may seek to shock, scar, or even kill us. The outer reaches of the cosmos thrive in this horror, as what may be millions of lightyears away could just maybe be the doom of humanity as a species. In order to truly conquer this fear, one must synchronize with it. To truly conquer the unknown, one must become it. These two beings were once normal people, just like you and me. However, a chance encounter with the unknown proved to change their lives forever as they knew it. A sentient, otherworldly substance bound to them in a moment of sheer chance and utter circumstance, forcing them to accept and work with their new "partners." 

Though the sheer tonal whiplash between these two characters may be jarring, both of these symbiotic super soldiers have the guts to prove that they aren't to be trifled with. The soda-loving man of metal Pepsiman has decades of material to work with, and the nigh-inhuman warrior Shinichi comes from a beloved series with tons of action to boot. Will Shinichi's parasitic bloodlust finally be satiated, or will Pepsiman quench his thirst for a victory? Let's find out who would win in a Death Battle!

Background


Pepsiman



Once a scientist working in a subdivision at NASA, a young man was tasked with the observation and maintenance of a substance known only as its comical codename, the "Holy Pepsi": a special sentient metal from outer space. Originally, this material was to be entrusted to a league of mechanical defenders of Earth, likely known better as the Autobots. However, a freak accident caused the substance to immediately bond with the man's body. Due to its imperfect and unrefined nature, the substance completely altered his mind and body, granting him immense strength, speed, and durability at the cost of his brilliant mind. Now, he exists as the enigmatic Pepsiman, roaming the world to deliver soda to those in need. When there's a thirst to be quenched, there's reason to assume that the Pepsiman is not far away.

Shinichi



Shinichi Izumi was your average high school senior: awkward, introverted, and slightly scared of bugs. That is, he was normal until one fateful night. A mysterious egg drifted down from the sky, landing outside of his window while he was asleep. From the egg hatched a deadly alien parasite hellbent on taking over the sleeping teen's brain. It scuttled over to the ear, but it was blocked due to Shinichi's earphones blocking the path. It then tried the nose, which suddenly woke Shinichi up. Panicked, the parasite lunged into Shinichi's arm, but Shinichi quickly wrapped his headphone wire around his arm, preventing the creature from advancing further into the body. Shinichi later lost consciousness due to a lack of circulation.

As Shinichi woke up the following day, he noticed things were slightly different. His right hand, the one the parasite entered, was acting strange as if it had a mind of its own. These feelings of doubt culminated when Shinichi stopped a car dead in its tracks with only his right hand. Thus, he discovered the parasite, now self-declared as "Migi", or "Righty", assuming the role of his right arm.

With this combination of human and alien came benefits for both sides. For Migi, he was able to feed off of the nutrients in Shinichi's bloodstream, keeping him indefinitely alive. For Shinichi, his fusion with Migi's cells granted him enhanced speed, strength, stamina, and a completely modular right arm, able to transform into blades, muscles, or bone. From that day forward and the incidents following, Shinichi promised to use his newfound abilities to make sure no one suffers at the hands of these parasites.

Equipment


Pepsiman


Sentient Metal


Due to his accident, Pepsiman is permanently coated in a shiny chrome alloy. There is no way of definitively determining what material it is made of, but it seems at least on par with some of the toughest metals that we know of, as it impacts cars and obstacles without showing even the slightest signs of wear.

This metal is also shown to significantly increase his speed and stamina, allowing Pepsiman to run at Olympic levels of speed for extended periods of time. He's outrun trucks, cars, logs, and giant Pepsi cans in order to reach his destination. He's crossed entire cities just to restore the taste of Pepsi to the general populace.

One last ability that the metal gives is the power to drastically increase the wielder's speed for a limited amount of time. Pepsiman has shown the capability to "dash," nearly doubling his speed for a brief period.

Pepsi


The classic drink beloved by many, Pepsiman's signature ability is to supernaturally conjure Pepsi from seemingly thin air. Pepsiman never runs out of the stuff (presumably because he collects so damn much of it in his video game.) He can summon enough cans of Pepsi in one motion to completely satiate an entire crowd of two hundred people, saving the survivors of a plane crash from imminent dehydration.

Pepsi can also be used to heal Pepsiman of any injuries he may gain during his travels. After gathering enough, he can survive blows that would normally put him out of commission. 

Pepsi Convoy


Oh yeah, this is a thing. Buckle up, boys, cause things are about to get... crossovery.

Remember that sentient metal and how it was being researched in a lab? Remember that tiny little insignificant itty bitty team name that I dropped? Yeah, the AUTOBOTS? Well, apparently, that same metal went into the creation of this bad boy: the Pepsi Convoy. Armed with a powerful CO2 cannon fueled by his massive built-in Bottle Station, this guy was built in the image of a certain Autobot that you may recognize. 

Though this is clearly a crossover character with a dubious at best involvement in the series canon, what's interesting to note is that the model is specified to have belonged to a previously established Autobot before assuming this new Pepsi-centered identity. We don't know which Autobot in particular, but we can assume that this would allow Pepsi Convoy to scale to at least the lower tiers of the verse. (Optimus might be a safe bet considering his appearance, but that would definitely fuck up the continuity a bit, considering that the creation of the Pepsi Convoy does have a place in the timeline.)

Though there isn't a direct statement that Pepsiman can contact or even knows about the Pepsi Convoy, a connection between the two is heavily alluded to. Besides, at the very least, we can use Pepsi Convoy to establish that Pepsiman's sentient metal is similar in durability to the armor of the Autobots.

Also, it's fucking Pepsi. The canonicity of events shouldn't really be a primary concern.

Shinichi


Migi



To put it simply, Migi is a right arm with a mind of its own. It can think, move, and react entirely separately from Shinichi. It possesses an immense will to live and will do anything that will increase the likelihood of Shinichi's survival, including giving advice, suggesting plans of attack, and making calls. However, its care for Shinichi is for an entirely selfish reason; Migi relies on Shinichi's bloodstream to live, so Shinichi's death would kill Migi as well. 

Despite not being a fully formed parasite, Migi still has all of the powers of one. Migi can freely shapeshift the entirety of Shinichi's right arm up to a bit past the elbow. These transmutations include blades, whips, swords, eyes, mouths, and even complex objects such as firearms (though they aren't functional unless given the proper ammunition.) 

In addition, Migi has a few other abilities that relate to its alien form. Every single one of Migi's cells exists as one unified conscious, allowing it to separate into multiple smaller bodies under one unified mind. With this, he can send out a chunk of himself in order to take control over other people via entering their bodies. In addition, Migi can heal injuries, mimic objects and voices, sense any nearby parasites, briefly detach from Shinichi, and read Shinichi's emotions to a limited degree.

Parasite Biology


After a near-death experience, Migi was forced to revitalize Shinichi at the cost of thirty percent of its body. That thirty percent dispersed itself across Shinichi's bloodstream, granting him major physical upgrades.

With his newfound hybrid physiology, Shinichi can run as fast as an Olympic athlete (sound familiar?), jump over three meters into the air, and strike with enough force to completely shatter ribcages, even without his parasitic right arm. His senses have also become far more acute, as he no longer needs his glasses to see and can hear distinct sounds as quiet as stifled breathing from several meters away.

Shinichi's abilities were boosted to the same caliber as even other parasites. He can dodge, counter, and parry attacks from parasites that are already faster than the eye can see, and his unarmed attacks are capable of deflecting parasite attacks. A good punch from Shinichi is even strong enough to nearly instantly kill lower-end parasites.

However, all of these physical amps came at a mental price. Shinichi became increasingly cold after his rebirth, often thinking more with his brain than his heart. If a situation gets too emotionally overwhelming for Shinichi, he instantly discards his emotions as if nothing happened. This has had so much of an effect on Shinichi's personal life that he's found himself completely incapable of showing complex emotions such as grief. He can't even bring himself to cry at anything anymore.


Feats


Pepsiman


Overall

Power

Speed


Durability


  • Constantly a victim of slapstick humor
  • Completely unphased by a water pistol to the face
  • Used as a speed bag by a boxer
  • Ran into a steel beam
  • Jumped from 35 stories into a pool
  • Slammed against a giant Pepsi can (2.54 megajoules)
  • Got hit by a truck (3.24 megajoules)
  • Tanked going through a subway station wall (19.7 megajoules)
  • Could potentially have comparable durability to Autobots

Shinichi


Overall


  • Learned to cooperate with Migi
  • Defeated Mr. A, Hideo Shimada, and Gotou
  • Saved his girlfriend countless times
  • Outsmarted Gotou
  • Stood up to his fears and faced his demise head-on
  • Taught Reiko Tamara the meaning of humanity
  • Gets bitches
    • Like seriously there are at least five girls that have wanted his dick calm down man

Power



Speed


Durability


  • Got his ass beat by street thugs without giving up
  • Jumped from four stories high and landed unphased
  • Recovered from being stabbed through the heart with help from Migi
  • Slammed through a tree by Gotou
  • Trades blows with other lesser parasites such as Mr. A (36.82 megajoules)
  • Slammed a parasite through a wall (90.07 megajoules)

Weaknesses


Pepsiman


While Pepsiman's inhuman physical abilities are impressive, he's kind of a dunce. His mind is incredibly straightforward, and he always tends to use brute force rather than any sort of strategy. Because of this, he is incredibly clumsy and accident-prone, often injuring himself in comical ways during his adventures. 

Shinichi




Although they exist in tandem, for the most part, Shinichi and Migi are still two separate entities that can have conflicting desires. When the two disagree on an attack strategy, they tend to pause for an extended period of time or, even worse, work against one another in order to achieve their own individual goals.

Elaborating on this, Shinichi and Migi are forced to communicate verbally with one another in order to fully synchronize their movements. Any inhibitors to this ability would greatly detract from their viability.

Every once in a while, Migi is forced to rest for upwards of four hours at a time. While Shinichi's physicals remain the same, he loses access to Migi.

Summary


Pepsiman



Advantages:

  • Stronger
  • Much more durable if given scaling to G1
  • Likely has more experience
  • Pepsi creation can potentially outrange and dura neg
  • Generally more skilled
  • Doesn't need to consult a second entity
  • More stamina
  • Has a banger theme song

Disadvantages:

  • Slower
  • Physically weaker
  • Less durable without G1 scaling
  • Could potentially fall behind due to inherent clumsiness
  • Lacks versatility
  • Much less intelligent
  • Hasn't been recognized by his company in decades

Shinichi


  • Faster
  • Physically stronger
  • More durable without G1 scaling
  • Migi giving insight could provide an opening
  • More intelligent
  • Used to fighting for their life more
  • Not likely to lose their cool
  • Gets bitches

Disadvantages:

  • Weaker in AP
  • Less durable with G1 scaling
  • Conflicts with Migi could interrupt the fight
  • Migi's dormancy is inevitable
  • Relies on Migi to do most of the fighting
  • Probably depressed

Verdicts





Universe



MIGI, DROP THE BEATS

Hey all, Universe here. And I‘m joining the funny killblog skeleton in this epic blog involving Pepsi for TV Game and the unfortunate man who sacrificed his good life for getting bitches. I'm here for a completely unbiased and informed prediction blog that I will carry out. So to start off, this matchup is so awesome and easily one of Shinichi’s best for how sheerly hilariously thematic it is. Truly another one of Corp’s obscure matchup Ws. But now to get down to the real gamer moments, the actual shockingly close debate that comes with it. So, let's get to it ig.
To start off, Pepsiman is surprisingly pretty agile despite his obvious stupidity and clumsiness. He’s still able to completely maneuver around streets, highways, mines, sewers, everywhere really including its hazards and is able to get out unfazed. Impressive in itself, and certainly an advantage of him being able to effortlessly fly around Shinichi at athletic speeds. His creation feat of Pepsi is impressive by creating so much liquid in such a short timeframe, become absolutely massive as a mech, and CLEARLY could turn handsy man into an air fryer pepsi bottle if you didnt see the AVGN video like a fucking dweeb…    
But that’s really where all the advantages end kinda, in almost every other category I’m confident Shinichi takes it. He’s much stronger due to his fights with superior parasites like Shimada, Miki and Goto. One of them was easily able to tear apart people and police officers and intercept bullets (before getting harmed by one of them), one who is host for three parasites inside him and was easily able to cut tree branches. Three parasites Migi admitted was too much for him, so physically winning was only possible with smarts which is what Shinichi used. 

And that finally leaves us with Goto: the strongest of the parasites. He has five parasites inside him, making him much stronger than Miki by the start. He bodied an entire room of Yakuza men and was able to swat Shinichi meters into the air through a big group of treetops, survived a car exploding on him, survived a grenade blast, survived shotgun shells to the stomach, repelled bullets from inside him and out, and dodged close-ranged bullets from both a police officer and a yakuza member.
And that’s just in scaling, Migi has not only proven to be stronger than all of them other than Goto, Shinichi himself is also very comparable to Migi too after getting fused with his parasitic cells. He can leap massive heights, run from one side of town to the other in seconds, buff up his armor with blades and muscle enhancements, and was able to kill a parasite with his bare hand, shattering a wall in the process, all without Migi. So Shinichi’s also all set in his own departments.
Even if Pepsiman could turn into a robot that is very questionable to scale to the Autobots in any case, Shinichi is just way too strong, fast, and adaptive. If he did, Shinichi could just leap up and decapitate him from there, range him out with Migi’s reach, buff up his armor, or just kill Pepsiman before he can turn him into liquid or into his robot due to having superior speed and reactions. So all said and done, Shinichi Izumi will give it his maxim and win in a decaying victory.

eXoRy



(Pepisman’s theme is unironically a fucking banger)

Hey y’all, eXo here and well… I’m here and before I begin let me just say; PEPSI MAN! With that out of the way, let me just say that this is certainly an interesting matchup to say the least, that I unironically can see working (I still don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing) but I’m sure you’re not here to listen to my rambling on the matchup itself but my ramblings on the debate, so let’s get to it. 

When it comes to stats, good old tin-head PEPSI MAN is surprisingly strong, being able to break through concrete walls, shed walls, wooden boards, glass sliding doors, badly shipped and loaded sofas, TVs, bookshelves, and even just casually barging through people like he’s the Kool-Aid Man but y’know PEPSI MAN! But possibly his greatest feat to date is creating up to 200 cans of Pepsi at once which can get up to 167.36 Megajoules or Small Building, however, I have a few issues with the calc, mainly with its estimation of passengers as I’m 99.99% sure there’s far less than 200 people there but whatever, let’s just give him a benefit of a doubt, you’ll see what I mean later. Obviously, all this scales to his durability (except for the creation feat). 

On the topic of speed, this alien-metal-space-thing runs a lot, like a lot, in a time where Pepsi Trucks, Pepsi-themed skateboards, and him owning a sweet C5 Chevrolet Corvette, you'd think he’d use those more often instead you know… running! But whatever, it got to keep in shape somehow. Aside from never skipping leg day, he’s able to consistently dodge and even outrun moving vehicles which should easily put him in the subsonic range. Maybe that’s why he doesn't use transportation considering his movement and reaction speeds are faster or almost as fast as his car's top speed… well would’ve helped if he used that to save that poor man in the desert.  

Before I tackle Shinichi let me just mention one thing; PEPSI MAN! Ok, Shinichi is absolutely on par or even past the carbonated man when it comes to stats stopping speeding cars with his bare hands and creating giant holes in concrete walls, putting him at small building level. Obviously, this isn’t factoring scaling to characters like Mr. A and Gotou who should cement this scaling, in fact, it would bump him up to building, however, it should be noted that this is a weakened and unstable Gotou, meaning he shouldn’t fully scale. Speed-wise, scaling definitely helps, with characters to Gotou who can dodge and block bullet fire like it’s Friday for him, putting him high into the supersonic range.

However, it should be noted that characters like Migi flat out state that cannons, missiles, and napalm are the utmost limits to even the strongest parasites (probably due to the fire they emit which parasites’ weakness) and Gotou states he is unable to move faster than a bullet, while these statements that cap the series’ stats don’t change the verdict, it’s still something worth mentioning.

So, in the end, who wins? The answer is PEPIS-M--- I mean the Parasyte duo, they’re just way faster, arguably has better healing via it being passive, out-skills in combat, outranges, and stronger. “Wait a minute, they outrange and are stronger? But I thought his Pepsi creation allows him to take those categories” I hear you might ask but here’s the problem, Pepsiman has never directly used his Pepsi powers in combat before, without it, Shinichi and Migi have almost a 4.6 x AP advantage; that’s almost enough to one-shot. Combined with his 20 x speed advantage and their fighting style of keeping opponents at a range against a person whose main fighting style is close-quarter-combat, it doesn’t look so good for our metallic friend here. But whatever let’s ignore what I previously said and say he does use his refreshment powers in combat, Shinichi still wins. The AP does close and actually gives PEPSI MAN the advantage, however, it means no one really is that much stronger than each other and all the previous advantages still stand, especially his speed, ensuring that Pepsiman has a pretty much nigh-impossible chance of directly landing a lasting blow. Even assuming that his Pepis Dash gives his speed an x2 multiplier (I personally don’t think it should), his opponents still have a ridiculous 10 x speed advantage, that’s easy enough to blitz. 

Final Thoughts


Well… all can I say for one is that it scares me that this could be unironically close, ultimately, while it saddens me to see my boy PEPSI MAN takes an L (probably due to his absolute awful luck), at least my other boy (this sounds weird, I know) Shinichi Izumi and Migi finally get an actual dub they deserve. Also for those who are wondering why I didn’t include this wasn’t included in my verdict - tl;dr there isn’t enough evidence to claim that PEPSI MAN (this joke is getting pretty old, isn’t it) can just summon it in the middle of a battle, let alone if he even knows this is a thing. At best you can argue that he scales to its durability due to them both being made out of the same NASA-goo thing buuuut the only problem is that the convoy doesn’t scale to anything or anyone in the Transformer universe and I’m certainly not comfortable giving him durability in the exatons range when he has been hurt by far less. Anyways, I think I went on way too long on this absolutely ludicrous but fun matchup. Big thanks to Corp for letting me on to drop a verdict, y’all better give him a big pat on the back, he deserves it, and thanks to anyone that read this verdict created by a possibly clinically insane man. 

eXo out


TreyDaGoat



“Wake up in the mornin feeling like P Diddy”

Okay so this is clearly a pretty awesome MU, but the thing I was wondering through the waiting period for this blog was p much “Who’s gonna win???” And I can 100% say that Shinichi most likely wins sadly. Pepsi man has a good amount of things in his favor, from merry much infinite supplies of Pepsi cans to being stronger and most likely more experienced, but that’s kinda it. Shinichi has not only fought opponents who have had physical advantages over him, but even while he’s weaker, he is still faster and more durable, which would be important in the long run, plus the fact that Migi can help somewhat guide Shinichi mid-fight as well as being generally the better person in terms of focusing on battle, I gotta give it to Shinichi. Even if a major hit is taken, Shinichi has been shown to be able to recover from life-threatening attacks in the past, so it’s not like that’ll be too serious later on.

Just Some Minor


"Please watch Red vs Blue it good"

So first I wanna say thanks to Corp for allowing me to be in this, it's the first time I've been in something of this caliber. But anyways onto the debate and why I think Shinichi slaps Pepsi-Man to his grave. Ok to be fair Pepsi-Man is maybe more experienced given his time as well as Pepsi-Man compare to Shinichi and being able to heal himself without much of a con and uh I think that's it…

So anyways why Shinichi holds like every other advantage starting with stats which should be in his favor I mean even harming a weakened Gotou is way above basically anything Pepsi-Man can do, like running fast enough to catch up with cars is cool and all but keeping up with someone who can dodge bullets beats anything he has to offer 

Even other factors like Intelligence is pretty favorably in Shinichi's favor given Pepsi-Man's lack of intelligence. Hell given Migi is also with Shinichi this means that he'd also have another brain to help him in the fight 

So in a nutshell Pepsi-Man might be an extremely powerful mascot in his own right but Shinichi and Migi's superior strength, speed, durability, and durability will have him take the win against the former mascot of Pepsi

also I'm sorry this is late I promise it was for a good rea-

EpicMonkey



Pepsi Man will win

Doctordoombestboy



"where is the yaoi?"

So this matchup is very based poggers awesome giga chad indeed, however one major con is that sadly, unfortunately, I need to give Shinichi the win. While Pepsiman is indeed surprisingly powerful, and he has the advantage in AP and durability, even tanking being slammed through a subway wall while Shinichi’s highest durability feat is being slammed through a tree.  However, that’s where the advantages end. Shinichi is far faster, being able to move at speeds faster than the eye, and maybe even faster than Pepsiman, can track. AP is pretty useless if you can’t see your opponent lol. Also, him damaging Mr. A could be taken as a small building feat, which is where Pepsiman usually ranks without Transformers scaling but not touching that one with a barge pole. Shinichi has other, smaller advantages such as being absolute leagues smarter like holy. Also something something bad luck

So, while Pepsiman takes AP and durability, Shinichi is faster to the point of a blitz, not helped by the fact that he’s a bumbling unlucky idiot. Thanks to Corp for letting me give a verdict, he’s very cool.

Doom signing off!

VelvetVessel



Idk how to feel about this mu tbh

Anyway uuuuuh, let's give a rundown of what was ready given a rundown of what you already know. Pepisman gets AP strength and hax, Shinichi has speed and intellect, and durability depends on G1 scaling.

Now looking at the numbers the gap between each of these is actually kinda small if you don’t count the scaling to Gotou since he wasn’t at his peak. From what I can pick up looking at the feats for both, The gap between movement speed is at least 10 miles per hour with movement speed in Pepsiman’s favor (without multiplier), 3 times with reaction speed in Shinichi’s favor (with multiplier), 4 times with durability in Shinichi's favor without g1 scaling (with it idk how much but better than Shinichi) and strength is idk because I don’t know how much the gap is exactly. But essentially Shinichi has a good amount of advantages depending on what you buy. But there is one issue here that can't be ignored, and that is the G1 scaling. Depending on if you consider it to be viable Pepaiman can scale to Transformers in Dura and Strength. Now he could only get one of these but I think both is more likely, so let's say that he does get both. If you happen to include this scaling for Sr. Pepsi, Shinichi really can't do shit, the gap between the two is just too big. I don't know the exact Power Level of Transformers, but it gets at the very least to Country, which is probably far beyond anything Parasyte as a verse can do. The advantages Shinichi has at this point are practically worthless because they aren't impressive enough to really be 10x better than Pepsiman (not like it would really help) and his hax are just non-existent. Now yes this is all using the G1 scaling and without it Shinichi does hav3 better stats and could possibly take the win…

   But fuck you Pepsi Convoy



Pepsiman wins





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